So, listeners and viewers, did you know that heat can be dangerous?
The following reached us today. It was circulated to colleagues by a local TV promotion producer.
ATTENTION….ATTENTION… IT’S GOING TO BE HOT!!!
RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!
THERMOMETERS CAN’T HANDLE THESE HOT TEMPERATURES!
OZONE COULD BE HAZARDOUS! Run, don’t walk to the free fan distribution center!!!
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! IT’S GOING TO BE HOT!!!! Stay cool… and don’t forget to check on the elderly!!!!!!!
BEWARE! IT’S GOING TO BE REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY STINKING HOT!
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!
We hope you find this heat warning excessive enough!
For details, or if someone SUFFERS due to excessive HEAT, please LET US KNOW! Go to our Web site: localnewsstationsupermegaheatseekingdoppler20billion.com
Stay with the local Supermegaheatseekingdoppler20billion Heat Team for obligatory stories of sweaty guys tarring a roof; kids jumping in public fountains; shots of heat radiating up off highway surfaces, kids shamelessly opening fire hydrants and of course, lots graphics of the sun in darkglasses. And thermometers with sweat or mercury shooting through the top.
And you could be the winner of a family four pack of tickets to see Winton Marsalis at the festival concert stage. It’s “cool jazz for a hot summer night.” To enter, simply log on and tell us the exact time you spot some local news reporter attempting to fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It’s going to be hot this July weekend! And this friendly reminder to local news departments, Christmas falls on the 25th again this year!